Mom: Charles, can you pick up these Legos™?
Charles: Uhhhhhh. My tummy is tire-warred (tired).
That ranks right up there with “I pulled a muscle in me ear” as an excuse.
Charles: [cries because his Lego™ construct got Aliced] He broke it!
Dad: Yes, Charles.
Charles: Why he always breaking my stuff?
Dad: That’s just the way she is, Charles. If you have your Legos™ near her, she will break them.
Charles: [anguished cry] I want a different baby!
[Charles watches Swiper get dumped in a mud puddle]
Charles: That funny!
Dad: Would it be funny if we pushed Charles in to the mud?
Charles: No.
Dad: What about Corwin? Would it be funny if we pushed Corwin in to the mud?
Charles: Yes. That funny.
It turns out that pushing Alice in to the mud isn’t funny, but pushing Mom in is.